She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think your dad took our porno
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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