I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
