what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He better not be in your backpack
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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