The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
