Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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