At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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