There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
