I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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