Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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