So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Drunk is not a location!
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