I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
