I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
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