eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
