That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
