whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
