Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
