my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
