You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
