Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
