I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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