my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
