Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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