He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
