He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
True strength comes from lack of pants
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
