i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Are my feet made of real feet?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
