it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
