I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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