At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
