I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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