I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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