Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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