In the future we'll all be gay
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
