I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize