Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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