Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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