We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
