My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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