I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
