So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
