Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
