I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
