wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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