no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
