The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
