HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
