We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
