If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
