cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
