you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He shit in the fireplace
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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