Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
