Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
