I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
