I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
