i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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