There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
