his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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