Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
