bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
