she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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