Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
