Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
