I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
