I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
my being single is dangerous.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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